“We have lived in Westport 10 ½ years. I am a stay at home mom & amateur triathlete/swimmer. My husband works in finance in NYC. He is working from home. 

We’ve settled finally into a routine after 5 weeks. My biggest challenge is keeping my two boys 1) academically engaged/challenged with the homeschooling, 2) having them physically active and 3) preventing them from spending too much time on video games! Managing a household and maintaining “order” with everyone home is a challenge – my work has increased in terms of parenting, rule and chore setting but also keeping everyone in good spirits, etc. 

I feel like folks are managing the best they can. Some are giving back by setting up donations to Gillespie Center or making masks and distributing them, collecting for food banks etc. Others are helping their neighbors in need (who are vulnerable and can’t leave their homes). Folks are trying to reach out to one another with zoom calls, and small acts of kindness (just checking in on how we are doing) etc. Like anywhere else, situations like this one can bring out the best and worst in people. I try to look for the good. We’ve participated in birthday drive-by parades for my children’s friends.  

My fears are that our lives will never be the same – that we won’t be as social or interact with one another as much as we did before. I fear that the new norm will be life behind a computer screen, phone, face mask and closed doors. I mourn less travel and larger group events like concerts or Broadway shows. I don’t want to lose what is special about the human experience – connecting with each other on a personal and deep level. My greatest hope is that we learn from this pandemic in multiple ways. I hope we learn to be more present, to treat the environment and one another better. I hope we practice gratitude and come out of this stronger, better prepared to deal with adversity. 

I am grateful that we have made a home in Westport and it is a true community. During this pandemic and stay at home order, we’ve been able to connect with our local friends, support local restaurants and businesses. I believe that what you put out in the world comes back to you — and the relationships we’ve made in town are helping us get through this together. Westport has so much to offer from its beaches to its cultural and educational resources – much of this still exists but in a different format. I am grateful for my children’s’ teachers and the daily assignments they’ve created (how quickly the Westport education system prepared for this!).” 

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As I write this, we are in week six of social distancing. Although I have less fear than six weeks ago, I am still wary of the unknown and what the future looks like. The lead up the week schools closed knowing it was coming but not knowing how long it would last and what social distancing “looks like” was a bit daunting. I still don’t understand the right answer to that, which is tough. I do think (and hope) there are responsible ways that we will be able to visit with family and friends as we come out of this quarantine, but in the meantime, we will just wait and see. We are fortunate that the weather is warmer and hopefully sunny days will allow for outdoor social distancing. 

The biggest change for us has been to be able to sit down to dinner with my kids every night. I had started traveling a fair amount for work before this started so between that, volunteer work and other social commitments I was always on the go. Time is something that we don’t get back and I look at this chapter of our lives as a gift because I am able to slow down and spend time with my children that I wouldn’t otherwise have had.  

Professionally, I have shifted my work hours to accommodate the needs of my family but fortunately I have the flexibility to do that. Socially, I am still able to connect with family and friends thanks to technology so it is not as isolating. And to some degree there are people I “see” more now than I did before we were told to stay at home. The other big change is school! I come from a family of educators so I have always had an appreciation for teachers and their roles in the development of children…but this takes it to a whole new level. The older kids (7th and 9th grade) are more self-sufficient but working through 4th grade learning is tough so a big thank you to all the teachers out there working hard to keep our kids on track. For the kids, I think missing the routine of school, friends and social activities is tough. We were looking forward to a spring of baseball, lacrosse and dance. 

Becoming a divorced mother of 3 when my kids were under the age of 7 forced me to accept that which we have no control over. I learned that I could feel all the emotions that one has, going through traumatic experiences, but I couldn’t marinate in those feelings as I needed to be present for my children. Every day I reminded myself it could always be worse, and that is true in today’s current environment. We can’t let fear bring us down, we need to stay strong and positive and take comfort in knowing that we are truly all in this together. I was taught a long time ago and try to instill it in my children now to find something beautiful in every day. Just because there are clouds, it doesn’t mean the sun is gone. When people ask me now, how I am doing, my answer is always – I am healthy, my kids and my loved ones are healthy, I am still employed with a roof over my head, food on the table and for the most part I am still sane. I have nothing to complain about. 

I hope that a year from now the country is in a place where we have the vaccinations and immunities needed to combat this virus. I hope that families that have lost loved ones during this time find peace. I hope that my children remember this period of time fondly albeit challenging. I hope when they think back, they remember the gift of time they got to spend with family. I hope that we all come out of this as better people. It is amazing how quickly this pandemic has changed the way many view the world. Things that used to seem so important no longer are. It’s all about perspective and I hope that people remember that. My hope is that hope beats out fear. My greatest fear is not knowing if I am doing enough to keep my kids safe both mentally and physically, or something happening to me that would prevent me from being there or being able to provide for them. 

I recently did one of those “what does your birthday month say about you” gimmicks and the message for mine was: “no matter how tough life gets you have a way of always keeping hope alive for yourself and your loved ones. You smile, even when you’re sad because you will never give up, even when the going gets tough.” I think this is very apropos to who I am not just today, but every day. Hang in there Westport – we are strong and we will get through this together. Sending a big virtual hug to you all. 

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The Tuckers, Laura, David and their three kids Lili, a college freshman; Avery a Staples sophomore and Eily a 3^rd grader at Long Lots, have lived in Westport just over 7 years. They celebrated their 20^th wedding anniversary on April 22^nd. 

“Today is our 20th wedding anniversary.  We are on on week six of quarantine. 

David and I were planning to celebrate our anniversary in Amsterdam, where we first met in 1994. Instead, we are home in Westport. I am disappointed that we are not able to go on our anniversary trip, but if I have to be quarantined somewhere, Westport is a nice place to do it. We are lucky to have a house with enough space for five people. We have a backyard and we are trying to spend as much time as possible outdoors. We are planting a garden, hiking and enjoying the sun when it is not raining (we have had way too much rain!). Westport is a beautiful town to ride bikes and walk our dogs.   

I think our family is reasonably well prepared to cope with this situation. We have lived in different places/countries and have adapted to many new situations. This is just another new situation. We also lived in New York City on 9/11. My first child was born 6 days before that awful day. I learned quickly that things can change in an instant and sometimes you have to change as well to get through tough times. 

Every family has their strategies for getting through this. What do the Tuckers do to survive? We get more animals! We have two dogs and they bring us so much happiness.  They have been great quarantine companions! We added a hamster to our family and we are getting a puppy on May 16. The kids are begging for chickens too! If quarantine doesn’t end soon, we are going to end up with a zoo! 

There have been lot of changes to our daily lives. Our kids are now homeschooled, there are food and toilet paper shortages, we have to wear masks in public, we are only seeing our friends and family over Zoom…and the list goes on. I think I am handling most of our “new normal” pretty well, but I must admit I am having a hard time with all the disappointments. Everything we were looking forward to has been cancelled. Lili has to complete her freshman year of college at home. Avery made it to the World Championships for cheerleading, and now that isn’t happening. Eily worked for months to be in her school play and it was cancelled two days before they were supposed to perform. We were going to visit my husband’s parents in Australia this summer, but now it will be postponed until next year. The Australia trip is probably the hardest one for our family to deal with because my kids have not seen their Australian grandparents in a long time. A lot can happen in a year and the thought terrifies me.  

I am usually a very optimistic person, but I have found the longer we are in quarantine, the more I worry. I fear the aftermath of the quarantine is going to be worse than the Great Depression. I look at our beautiful downtown and almost everything is closed. How are we going to come back from this? If we do, how long is it going to take? The longer they stay closed, the more likely the stores will not re-open. What will happen to those people who own or worked in those businesses? Will they be able to keep their homes? Will they be able to feed their families? So many people are losing their jobs. Not everyone can work from home. I love the idea of Westport’s slogan “You are not stuck at home, you are safe at home.”  This is true for many, but what about the people who are not safe at home? We can’t forget about all of the other problems in the world just because this virus reared its ugly head.  

We were listening to the “Dear Evan Hansen” soundtrack while making dinner the other night”(music written by Staples grad, Justin Paul).  

The words to the song “Anybody Have a Map” really hit home.  

Does anybody have a map? 

Anybody maybe happen to know how the hell to do this? 

I don’t know if you can tell 

But this is me just pretending to know 

So where’s the map? 

I need a clue 

‘Cause the scary truth is 

I’m flying blind 

And I’m making this up as I go… 

None of us have been through a pandemic before and I think we are all doing the best we can. We don’t have a map or any kind of instructions to follow. Everyone is struggling with this in their own way. So many are experiencing some kind of disappointment and fear. I think if we show kindness to one another, it might ease some of the pain. If we show compassion toward our neighbors, hopefully our community will come out of this more connected.  

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I am a PTA volunteer (Staples high school PTA President) and a marketing consultant. I’ve been able to still do most of my work from home so from that perspective my life hasn’t changed that much but getting time during the day to get stuff done with everyone around has been a real challenge! 

At the beginning of all of this, I was reading too much searching for answers: news, social media, etc. I found that the more I read, the more questions I had, the less I slept. Once I made a conscious effort to limit my social media and consume less news, it had a big impact on my physical and mental wellbeing. Now, I am definitely less neurotic 🙂 

Not being able to see family has been a real challenge. We are very close with our relatives–my parents are both elderly, and not being able to see either of them for so long and knowing they’re all alone has been very hard. But we’ve found ways to do Friday candle lighting every week on zoom (once they figured out how to use it) as well as celebrate my son’s 13th birthday online (we had to cancel his bar mitzvah and are trying to figure out when we can do it). Technology has been a big help in all of this, in helping us all to stay connected while being isolated. 

This community is amazing. I have the best neighbors and friends in Westport. When there is a challenge most of us rise to that challenge. We help those around us. That is what has kept me going through all of this: our resilience and our strength as a community always shines through during times such as this.  

I think that my generation (I am 46) has the coping skills to deal with this. My greatest hope is that my children think back to this time we all had together and remember more good than bad.  

However, as you look at some of the younger families and people in communities such as this one, they’ve never had to deal with any adversity in their past—and this tests us all. My next door neighbor who is 89 is a good guiding light for me during times like this – she is always so calming, optimistic and helps keeps things in perspective. She’s become part of our Westport family. 

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Cheryl Bliss has lived in Westport for 40 years. She moved here with her husband, Michael, and together they raised their three children Erin, Lindsay and Tim.  She was past-president of Westport Museum when it was Westport Historical Society. A professional banker turned educator she returned to the classroom after her husband’s unexpected death in 2005. Cheryl spent eight years on the Board of Education including serving as vice-chair and secretary. She was secretary of the Westport Women’s Club from 2017-2019. A trained archivist, Cheryl is also currently serving as Westport Museum’s chairperson. 

“I became vaguely aware of Corona Virus on February 26th when my brother who lives in town told me he was not going to commute into the city anymore. He was concerned about taking the subway to his job in midtown. I think I didn’t realize how serious it was until the schools were closed on March 11th.  

I think the biggest change in my daily life now is adjusting to a new lifestyle which basically focuses on staying in my house. It been hard adjusting to not doing things that I used to do on a regular basis. I have tried to establish a routine which focuses on walks, getting coffee, limited trips to a grocery store or pharmacy. I think not seeing my children who live within an hour of Westport has been an adjustment. I have seen two of them recently but they stayed outside of the house. My daughter, Erin, is a surgeon at Hartford Hospital who has had to work on COVID patients from time to time. When she does, she has to wear something like a space suit.    

I retired from the field of education four years ago. So, now my focus is on volunteering in the community and helping take care of my three granddaughters in Westchester. Of course, that has come to a standstill with COVID-19. I am an alternate member of a commission in Westport which has cancelled in-person meetings. My granddaughters have adjusted to my not being with them as their parents are working out of the house now. 

I have had contact within town by walking in my neighborhood, talking on the phone or seeing [people] at the pharmacy or grocery store. From what I can see the people seem to be coping. Because they are older, my friends especially, are trying to abide by the restrictions as established. 

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Since 1976, CLASP group homes, headquartered in Westport, creates and supports family environments for people with autism and intellectual disabilities. Latravia Cox and Tiffany Scott are the manager and assistant manager, respectively of the CLASP home at Kings Highway South, which has been in operation since 1983 and is home to five adults.  Providing meaningful and enriching lives to residents CLASP is a 501c3 nonprofit dependent on charitable donations. We hope you will support their work by clicking this link. 

 “The house is co-ed, with two women and three men. All are adults with intellectual disabilities.  Some may also have other physical and emotional conditions as well but their primary diagnosis is intellectual disability.  

Jeff age 63 wants to live the American dream with a house, fast car and a wife. 

MC age 42 is totally and completely into video games and rap music. 

Tom age 60 is a very nice guy who loves to help. 

Sheri age 47 works competitively and loves to follow popular culture and TV 

Martha age 44 is a homebody who loves hearing from and seeing her mom. 

The hardest thing for our residents about social distancing and the need for caregivers to wear Personal Protective gear is that long-standing practices and schedules have been broken. For example, every Tuesday was going to Dunkin Donuts. Some people were used to seeing family every weekend or on some other regular schedule and that’s not happening.  This was a very social bunch.  Also, everyone at the house had a day program or job.  This provided much of the routine human interaction with people from the cafeteria lady to the person in the seat next to them at work—the kind of interaction and routine we all need. 

The worst part for our residents is not seeing their families.  This is not only hard on the residents but hard on the families too.  It’s also hard trying to explain why all of these measures are necessary without going too far and terrifying people with the idea that they might die.  

A good thing is that some people are getting more personal attention at the home than they would at their usual day programs.  The staff to resident ratio is 1 to 5 at home.  It is usually a much higher resident to staff ratio at day programs. 

We like to stress inclusion in the community at CLASP so now we are like a turtle pulled inside our shell. Just like for everyone else this has been a very strange time. For the first few weeks it was exciting and different. Now, not so much. Our staff have been phenomenal by working long hours to minimize the number of people who have to come in to the home– thus minimizing the contact risk. 

What has been surprising is how we have been able to find ways to use technology in innovative ways to both conduct our business and keep our residents and clients connected. 

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Lisa Laudico has lived in Westport for 13 years with her husband and two sons. She is a Metastatic Breast Cancer survivor who volunteers helping others who are struggling with the disease. 

“I am a clinical social worker and so we as a family are always checking in with each other to make sure we take care of our mental health AND our physical health during this time. Given I have had to be careful with my exposure to germs in general for the past 2.5 years given my stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, our family is used to ‘germ/virus vigilance’.  

I work as a volunteer now for a few foundations dedicated to helping those with Metastatic Breast Cancer (The Cancer Couch Foundation and Share Cancer Support) – this work has not stopped and we are working on new ways to connect and support. My husband Tony is working remotely and is able to for the most part – he is enjoying not having to travel! Our two sons (one a college senior and the other a college sophomore) are doing their remote online classes. We all have our ‘work days’ and we have a “Corona” job jar that each of us tackle each day. We are doing a family book club where each week we have a different book nominated by a family member. Lots of dinners together and game nights at least twice a week. We have been doing global zoom dinner parties with friends all over the world and wonder why the heck we didn’t do this more often before! We have decided that zoom dinner parties with just 4 people works really well. If you go bigger – it is a little more chaotic. 

We are social people and certainly miss seeing friends in person. My husband is in a band and they have not been able to practice together for over a month. Having both of our sons home for this long stretch of time is very different and also lovely. Our eldest would come home for visits for only a week at a time even in the summer (he lives in NYC) and so to have all of us together is very special and something you get when you organize a big family vacation but those have become exceedingly rare with the schedules of our two sons. What a gift! 

Our community is very special and there are many active, caring members of our town who are out there making a huge difference. I was saddened to hear that there had been some negative comments in the beginning of the crisis when we, as a town, benefited from another country’s efficient and fast testing of COVID 19 alerting us to confirmed exposure when it had been in our town for many weeks unconfirmed and untested. But the goodwill in this town always rises to the top. I know of many teenagers and college students who have been extremely respectful of the social distancing guidelines – not all kids and parents have been stretching the rules. Westport is a very special place and this time confirms that again. 

I am less worried for my own health even with my condition since I am currently stable and on oral chemo (thank goodness!) but more concerned for my husband given how poorly men seem to be doing once they contract the disease as compared to women. I am now asking our sons to do any errands so my husband can reduce his exposure outside. My greatest fear beyond our own family is with my many friends with MBC who are even more immunocompromised than myself and who have additional health issues that need continual care at hospitals.  

I hope that we may look at our society and see that an overhaul of our healthcare system is the right humane thing to do and that paid sick leave is something for the greater good. That this kind of social upheaval gives us a chance to see where we need to do better to be a society that takes care of its vulnerable since we now see that each of us can be among the vulnerable at any time. That we can look at how we as a society need to reconstruct how we support those who support us but who do not always get such a fair deal. May we not lose or forget these important lessons. 

We are so privileged to live in such a beautiful community that shows its love inside and out. I have so much gratitude for living in Westport and we feel so blessed to have our relative health as we shelter at home. It is a scary time to have this invisible enemy impact our lives but may it be a reminder that we have choices on how we get to live this life. Never let an existential crisis go to waste! Let’s not waste a second. 

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Originally hailing from Texas, Kelle Ruden has lived in Westport for 20 years with her husband Jeffrey, who grew up in Westport and graduated from Staples High School in 1982. Many around town know Kelle as an avid gardener who is a past President of the Westport Garden Club and for her previous work as the Programs Director at Westport Library. 

“We are both able to work from home and we are enjoying taking breaks together for a meal or a walk to the end of our road, checking on friends and family and catching up on the latest news. I am also coordinating volunteers to shop for members of our congregation and participating in services and classes via Zoom. 

Jeffrey is Managing Director and Senior Commercial Banker for Fieldpoint Private, I work part time as Lecture Coordinator for Shankar Vedantam, host of NPR’s Hidden Brain. Jeffrey has been working from home since March 12 and his work has been busy because of the reduction in interest rates. Both of us have worked with clients who are anxious about the coming months and the uncertainty of these times. 

Mastering Zoom, upgrading WIFI speed and navigating canceled events dominated the early days. Of course, as the days went on, worries about friends and family became paramount. My brother is deemed “essential” in Houston and had been working without a mask or gloves but he now has them.  Jeff’s mom suffers from Alzheimer’s and cannot really communicate and we cannot see her.  We have concerns for friends whose businesses are suffering and our town, our nation and those who are struggling to get by or are losing their livelihoods and their lives. 

We had heard a bit about the virus in China in January but the reality that it would come to us all struck when we were on a cruise from Feb. 1-15 in the Caribbean. Halfway through the trip- on Feb. 7, the ship was in port in San Juan and the crew began enacting virus protocols- the entire library, board games and puzzles were removed, menus were shrink wrapped after disinfecting, and all on board were asked to refrain from handshaking and to wash hands frequently. And, of course, the ship was cleaned rigorously and constantly.  

COVID forced many of us into a “hard stop” and presented an opportunity to step away from a frantic pace that did not allow for time to rest and recharge, to think or to dream. Of course, many workers have not had the luxury to stop during this time and my hope for them is that they stay well and are celebrated and well compensated for all they have done. We are grateful for this amazing community we live in, and our incredible neighbors.  

My family settled in Texas in 1840 and as Dan Rather once said: “Always marry a woman from Texas. No matter how tough things get, she’s seen tougher.” But more seriously, we are both at an age where we have experienced loss and hardship and had the benefit of the wisdom of family members who have lived through worse: hunger, war and deprivation. This is a challenging time with great loss of life, but historically our country has been through even worse and has come out stronger. 

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Bob Mitchell is a former chairperson of Westport Museum (Westport Historical Society). He’s lived in Westport with his wife, Kathy, for 22 years.  

As with most people, I am spending a lot more time at home, basically alone. (My wife is an invalid.) I go out for basic errands, and to walk – my principal source of exercise. I am taking advantage of the extra free time to work around the house. I’ll be pretty embarrassed if the many overhanging chores are still undone after life returns to normal. And, I am resuming hobbies and avocations – writing, genealogy, music, scientific analysis – for which I found little time recently in my busy life. 

I am retired. However, I am very active with the Y’s Men of Westport/Weston, and our many face-to-face meetings and activities have been replaced by Zoom, conference calls, and emails. I am responsible for arranging speakers for our weekly meetings, and now am engaged in preparing podcasts, video meetings, and other ‘socially-distanced’ modes of providing camaraderie and involvement for our many home-bound members. 

I was always raised to follow the rules, and to think about other people, so living under the COVID strictures fits right in with my mentality. I also was always more an internal person rather than an external person, so being at home more is not so strange to me. And my wife is not well, so I have long lived a somewhat solitary life. But I still do miss being with other people.  

I miss the lack of direct personal contact. Electronic means are not the same. I thank God that our technology is such today that we can associate with each other in one form or another that was not available until recently. But it is not the same. You cannot hug friends over Zoom. 

I think Westport is doing a very good job with this. Most people are following the guidelines; those businesses that are still open are being very sensible; and the Town government is doing its usual great job. I’m sorry they had to close the beach parking, but I understand that some people, particularly the younger ones who can’t imagine that they could ever catch this ‘old-folks disease’, might well succumb to the temptation, especially as the weather gets nicer. 

I would hope that we learn some lessons about helping each other, thinking before acting, and being generous. I hope that people develop a greater appreciation for the important things in life – family, friends, social activity, healthy fun. I would also hope that our government would take to heart the lessons about not being adequately prepared, in readiness for the next one, whatever it might be. My greatest fears are the growing instances of totalitarian governing in response to the need for strong executive action during the crisis. This crisis will pass, but the changes in our various societies may not. This too shall pass! 

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Melissa Kane is Westport’s Third Selectperson. Raised in Manhattan she spent summers in Westport as a child in historic houses that her parents rented which she calls “magical places that made Westport a very special place for me. Spending summers in Westport is what I looked most forward to all year.” Kane, her husband John and son George, now 21, moved to Westport when her 2^nd child, Lily was born 17 years ago. 

“I’ve not physically been back to Town Hall since March 12. Working remotely, I’ve been a liaison between the community and the administration with a focus on making sure people have access to the information they need at all times and that they are able to direct their concerns where they need to go and the opportunities to channel their energies into something positive. 

So, I’m focusing a lot of my time on putting together town-led volunteer efforts. So many people want to be doing something right now. I think that at a time like this, when you lose control over everything, there is a sense that if you can just grab onto one thing and be helpful–whether that’s people making masks or working on feeding workers on front line—it allows people to gain a sense of, if not control, some accomplishment. I personally feel this as well. You feel you are moving the ball forward a little bit when you feel helpless otherwise. 

At state level, one of the projects I have been working on, is trying to get better guidelines and regulations for food safety working with organizations like the CT Food association and CT Restaurant Association. I’m also advocating to the governor for these guidelines and regulations to be put out with executive orders and working with Mark Cooper at the Westport-Weston Health district about setting up to have Chamber of commerce field calls about citizens’ concerns about safety when they go to the grocery store or any stores that are open—where there is no uniform way that safety is handled it’s not uniform in any way . Even though there are state regulations, methods vary and that makes people uneasy so I’m working on how you create some uniformity at the state and town level.  

I’m also working on something really cool with our Department of Health & Human Services which has an incredible list of resources for people who are having a hard time practically and emotionally right now. It is really important to talk about the concept of grief that people are feeling now—grief for a life that has been lost. There is so much to unpack around what grief is and what we judge as grief, and what people should be “allowed” to grieve. For example, my parents are 85 and 88 and at risk and scared. I think about them and seniors everywhere who are worrying if they will be spending the end of their lives so isolated. What can we do to alleviate this fear and the grief that comes with it?  

I feel extraordinarily lucky to live in this incredible community which has had sickness and will have more, but we have roofs over our heads and we care about those who don’t and we want to help. It feels good to work with a municipality working so hard to keep people safe.” 

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